It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
