Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize