i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
