On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
