He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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