Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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