If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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