this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
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