those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
