if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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