you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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