...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
