Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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