I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
