this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
