Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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