so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
