what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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