oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
