Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
