Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
