y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Rumble strips road head = magical
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize