WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
