Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
