she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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