I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
