Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
