Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
