She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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