so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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