Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
