Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize