i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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