If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Success! We fucked roommates!
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