David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
