is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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