I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
