That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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