Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
