he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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