There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize