that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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