found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
