i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
