when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
