I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
