I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
