I think i peed on brittanys purse
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
