Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
