So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
