I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
