At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
