omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
