I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
