Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
