So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
