Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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