brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We don't watch enough power rangers
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
