I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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