This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
