There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
