I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
