Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
