the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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