he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
