frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
