how can u be prego again
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
