Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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