I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
