I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
