How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
