id be glad to
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
