I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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